One of the mistakes many people make when trying to get their ex back is to say I’m sorry a thousand times. There is nothing wrong with a good apology in many cases. But saying I’m sorry over and over can actually cause your ex to move further away from you.
There are some things you can do instead of say I’m sorry a hundred times to get your ex back. And they will be much more effective. To begin with, don’t say I’m sorry if you did nothing wrong. Don’t say I’m sorry if they left because of relationship drift, where they just aren’t that into you anymore. Saying you’re sorry when you did nothing wrong comes across as pathetic and manipulative.
Of course, if you did something wrong that needs an apology, that’s a great place to start. You have to understand what you did wrong and be ready to apologize, just don’t start with an apology – yet.
Before you ever get around to apologizing, do a few powerful things first. To begin with, let’s say you committed adultery. You cheated on your ex. They kicked you out and are feeling a lot of betrayal and anger.
Instead of rushing in and saying I’m sorry, start by admitting what you did wrong. Your ex needs to know that you understand you did wrong. So own up to it. Do not justify or try to explain yourself.
Then, help your ex to resolve their feelings of mistrust and betrayal. The way to do this is get them to vent. To get their feelings off their chest. So ask them how they feel about what happened, and then shut up and listen. Be a good listener. This helps them to release and begin to resolve their bad feelings.
Take both of those steps first and you are way ahead of the ball game. After you admitted you did wrong and heard their feelings about it, they can hear you. Now your apology can be heard and accepted.
So before you rush in with a thousand apologies, or one, try these two steps. If your ex deserves an apology, make it a powerful one, one that you wont have to repeat endlessly hoping for forgiveness. You and your ex will end up getting a lot closer. There are more steps to this, but these can get your ex to consider taking you back within hours instead of weeks or months.
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