How To Get Over A Breakup

If you have recently experienced a breakup, chances are good that you are looking for answers on one of two things, either how you are supposed to get over your ex or how you should go about getting your ex back. Both are hard options, but most people will fit into one of the two categories, with only a few of them actually being able to fully move on without pinning for their ex or wishing for a different outcome.

The first thing you need to do is take a step back and fully analyze both your relationship and your ex. Think about the way it was and the way it is going to be now. Do the best you can to set your feelings aside and be objective. You’ll either want one of two things, to get your ex back or realize that the break up was not as bad as an idea as you thought it was.

If after your step back you decide that you would really like to get back together with your ex then the first thing on your agenda should be to apologize. Now you may feel like you have already done this. Maybe even multiple times. But if you were saying you were sorry during your break up then your ex probably did not think you were being sincere, only that you were trying to stop the breakup from happening.

If you did something to your ex that deserves a sincere apology then consider apologizing again without trying to get back with your ex. Your ex will think you are sincere this time since nothing is hinging on your apologizing. When you have already gone through the breakup, then you won’t be apologizing simply to try and save your relationship, but because you are truly sorry and meant it.

If it is your ex who should be apologizing to you then instead of trying to get them to say they are sorry, you should forgive them. Even though you might never forget, especially if they were unfaithful, in order to get our ex back you will have to be able to forgive them. Just saying the words will most often not be enough for you to really forgive them deep down so you might need to read a book (or two) on how to really forgive someone. If you want to get your ex back then being able to forgive them is really important. It will also help prevent your relationship from having problems in the future.

If you do win back your lost love, 4, 6, or even 9 months into your newly fixed relationship, some of the old issues might resurface. If you haven’t really forgiven your ex for past issues, then you might have a very hard time getting past everything. When old wounds are reopened it is very likely that hurtful things will be said.

If you have fully forgiven your significant other, then there will be no need to rehash the past problems. While your learning how to forgive them for the problems that caused the breakup, forgive them for the breakup itself. This will save you a lot of heart ache down the road.

Another way to win love back is to show them the person they fell in love with, not just the “you” who got broken up with. You were together because you had a certain quality that they loved like kindness or thoughtfulness, not because you were angry, hurt, or even jealous. While it may be hard to hide the hurt, you should concentrate on being the best you that you can and you might win back your ex by simply being the person that they fell in love with.

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