One sleeps on the couch; the other one sleeps in the bedroom. The two of you have gone to marriage counseling and therapy, and read your fair share of marriage counseling books. You’ve tried to communicate, but you always end up fighting and screaming at each other. Divorce seems inevitable, yet you don’t want to give up. You want to know how to stop a divorce. Divorce is not the easy way out of a troubled marriage. Marriage requires a lot of work. Ending a marriage entails the same work, or possibly even more, than you think. Before you head to the divorce court, sit down with your other half for a serious talk and figure out how to stop a divorce from happening. If you keep thinking of divorce, that’s where you’ll end up. If you focus on stopping or preventing the divorce, then chances are, the divorce can be avoided.
People change. This is the most important thing to keep in mind, especially when the two of you have been together so long. People are not static beings - they change their minds, their tastes and their preferences. Get to know your partner again, if you can. You might be surprised at what has changed.
No one’s perfect. You can try to be perfect. In fact, you might even think that you’re perfect, but you can’t expect other people to be the same. At the end of the day, you have the power to please or let down yourself. Don’t disappoint yourself unnecessarily. Lower the perfection bar a bit. Realize that you can’t change someone. People change on their own in their own time. No amount of yelling, screaming, shrieking and shouting will help. If there is anyone you can change, it’s yourself. Hopefully, your partner will realize the need for change as well.
Stop expecting the worst. Do not anticipate fights, arguments and disagreements. Take a deep breath before responding to your spouse. Stop being defensive and nip the negativity in the bud before you deal with your partner. Start expecting the best from each encounter. Wish-fulfilling prophecies are exactly that - wish-fulfilling prophecies.
See the good in your partner. Don’t take your love for granted. Say “I love you” and “thank you” to your partner and mean it. Remember why you fell in love with each other. Give your marriage the time it needs to make it work. After all, it took time for the marriage to rip at the seams; it will require the same amount of time to fix it. If things do not improve, then you need to know how to stop a divorce by seeking professional help. Do it soon. Better yet, do it now.
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